… REAL MARRIAGE
February 18, 2020
…but first, a Kitchen Remodel Update.
This time last week, it was difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We didn’t make our Valentine’s Day goal to have cupcakes back up and baking, and I had no idea who was showing up to do their work when. Then…all the contractors kicked it in gear and we’ve made some serious progress in the last 7 days.
You might remember that just prior to this remodel project, Jeremy and I were living the good life in Mexico hiking and whale watching and just relaxing after the hectic retail 4th quarter. I’m thankful we had those 5 days to fortify because as anyone knows who has lived through any kind of remodel project, its no fun.
Since early Plume, Jeremy has been my demo man, floor scraper, painter, shelf hanger, floor layer, occasional maker, lighting installer. This is really the first project that I haven’t relied heavily on his labor. He helped me prep the space for demo and he painted and is laying some flooring. Not to minimize his contribution, it’s been plenty, and for sure plenty enough to try both of our patience (he has way more patience than I do by the way). But it’s been nice to not have to burden him with so many “shop things”. I think our marriage is the better for it. (We just won’t mention the many, many things he’s had to listen to me stress about).
Speaking of marriage, in the midst of this remodel project Jeremy and I started taking a class at our church called Real Marriage. We’re only 2 of 6 weeks into the class but it’s been a bit humbling & eye opening. We had to skip a week due to the snow day a couple weeks ago so we actually had 2 weeks in between our first and second class. When we got to class #2, I realized 2 weeks had gone by and we had done none of the homework that was assigned to us in class #1.
I could blame it on the remodel, or a ten other things but this assignment is mainly making time to sit still with one another each day and talk on a deeper level than just “household business”.
That’s it. Just talking.
But let’s face it. Real talking is hard… and can be draining as you peel back the layers. I know it’s necessary and life-giving and honestly something my heart yearns to do. But we still hadn’t made the time to do it and when the realization came over me it was all I could do not to burst into tears in the middle of class. And then I read the results of our “assessment” where they analyze your personality and where you fit on all these different spectrums of communication and other marital areas and I was just about finished…
I don’t mean to paint a grim picture of the class or our marriage, I know I’m pretty blessed. It’s just not easy being confronted with your own faults and thinking about the areas you need to grow. But I’m thankful God has given me the desire to “want to grow” and be a better wife (one that more resembles Him) and that I’m married to a man who at a minimum, is willing to appease me by even taking a class called “Real Marriage”, but better than that, who I also believe wants to grow and be a more Godly husband.
In the meantime, looking forward to seeing all of you in the shop this week!